Ick

I read through some of my work last night… disgusting. Some of the poems I had tagged as “pretty good” are, in fact, not really good at all. I only tried to read through one of my essays; I got about 2 paragraphs in before I had to stop. I know where I was going with it, but I was so worried about offending people that it took forever for me to get there. It was confusing and poorly organized, and has now been taken off the page. In its place is a more coherent article addressing the matter of bloodshed, particularly as it relates to war and the death penalty. I intend to continue rewriting my essays; I can’t include rebuttals and really “full” arguments in each one because it makes them too long, so I’m hoping to continue developing them as a sort of theological web. Much like the Bible, they would all have to be read to understand any part of them; you can’t pull one part out of context (in this case, the context of my site) and assume that represents the whole (or, to continue with this metaphor, that it represents my complete feelings/thoughts on a subject).

This morning I’m going to get some cleaning done and, once the dishwasher and clothes washer are going and the trash is taken out, I intend to bike to the gym and work out for an hour or so. April’s out of town, so I’m left to my own devices today. The device in question will likely be my XBox and a game Cody lent me. Finances need to be taken care of as well… my cell phone bill came out of my checking account last week on the same day my paycheck went in. If I hadn’t gotten my paycheck that day, I would have been at -$2.00 😛 Need to budget this month out a bit better, I think, though it had always been my goal to cut the end of the month close. Just not that close.

I feel like I should clarify real quick why I’m allowing my account to get that close to $0: I pay all my bills and put money in my savings account at the beginning of the month, leaving whatever is left for food and entertainment. Which isn’t much, but enough to get me by. After taxes, deductions, tithe, and savings deposit, I’m living on less than I was as a student worker… but it’ll be worth it once January rolls around.

I can’t wait to get married.

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