You know how occasionally it is appropriate to say, “Wow, everyone I know is getting married!” You might have heard this phrase before when someone knows 3-5 people who have recently gotten engaged. I’ve been through that a couple of times, and almost a year ago I was one of those 3-5, which was kind of cool. I guess now that’s run it’s course.
Man, everyone I know is getting divorced.
What happened to us? To the people I knew in high school? My first response was, “What were they thinking?” Not just with the divorce, as sad as that is, but I knew when they got married that they weren’t right for each other. Were they just in love with the idea of being in love? With the idea of being married? Did they not realize how hard it would be, or what sacrifice it would demand of them? Thank God the couples I know currently getting divorced haven’t had children yet, but it’s still heartbreaking. And for one of the couples, it’s completely out of left field for me. I thought they were fantastic, one of those perfect couples. They seemed so good together…
The last two weeks have beget a great deal of melancholy and emoness. I don’t know if it was a holdover from the holidays or what, but I’ve thought a lot about people who are no longer in my life. Relationships that ended, friends who either drifted away or tore themselves forcibly from my life, loved ones who have died, people I was once close to who seem to have just fallen off the face of the earth…
Last week, I wrote a letter to a girl I knew several years ago named Neci. When Mike ditched us on the bills and moved out without forewarning, I started looking for a new roommate to fill the third room of our townhouse. Neci was one of the few who responded to our flyers and we were quickly becoming friends. She was seriously considering moving in, but then something happened with her family and she felt the need to return to Arkansas immediately, dropping out of college and leaving everything here behind. The only good, inexpensive means of communication available to us was by paper letter, so we wrote briefly.
That is to say, I wrote her, she wrote back, and over the next six months or so I wrote two more letters. After not hearing from her in that six months, I finally called and, after three attempts, got a hold of her. Turned out she had gotten the letters, she just hadn’t gotten around to writing back.
That was just over two years ago. So much has changed, and I found myself randomly thinking about her last week and wondering how she was, so I wrote. My letter was returned to sender, unable to forward.
I still haven’t been able to get in touch with Melvin, the father of the family who originally got me going to church. They meant so much to me towards the end of high school, and I’ve worked so hard to keep in touch with them throughout college. Every time I talk to Melvin, he tells me of how they’ve been thinking about me, or they were talking about me just the other day. Their daughter, Jennifer, and I have been estranged since we graduated for reasons I never quite understood. Now when I call Melvin, I get a disconnected signal at their home and voice mail on their cell. None of my messages have been returned, so I haven’t been able to invite them to my wedding.
I’m hoping it’s a simple matter of them having moved, gotten a new home phone number, maybe gotten a new cell, and having forgotten to call me like they always do. (In the last 5 years, I think Melvin has called me once.) My imagination can’t help but picture worse fates, but it’s usually the simple answer, right? I hope they’re OK.
Jesus, I’m glad this posts to LiveJournal. Grab a sticker and label me Eyore.
On the positive front, my bachelor party was awesome. Shawn and Cody pitched in to get me Guitar Hero II, and I borrowed a projector for the night. We hooked mine and Ryan’s Xbox 360s together and the five of us (Cody, Shawn, Ryan, Brian, and myself) played through Halo 3 on Legendary in about 6 hours. There was also some GHII, of course, and some Smash Bros. on Cody’s Gamecube. It was, all-in-all, a very good night. It was also really easy to set up for, so I’m thinking we should make such evenings a semesterly occurrence.
All is not doom and gloom in the world of Matthew. The wedding plans are all but completed, and I’m excited to see them come to fruition. There will be cake. No lie. And I’m looking forward to the holidays, particularly being off work. Life is good with April, classes are over, and I’m happy. In general, things are good.
I want to leave it at that (on a positive note) and come up with something to write on the FnC blog. Check it later for an article on the concept of Us vs. Them.