I’ve started getting even more ingrained in the webcomics scene, and it is becoming increasingly apparent that I am simply not realizing my goals. I’ve moved beyond mainstream and am beginning to browse indie webcomics (if such a title even makes sense, as all webcomics are technically independent), and it has reminded me why I started a site in the first place. I had hoped to do with writing what webcomic artists do with their art. They produce, post, and give it away all for free. Someday, they compile it in a book and hope that their loyal following will purchase that book, allowing them to make more webcomics. For the gents at Penny-Arcade and Scary Go Round (to name very few of the bigwigs), they’ve done it and make a living off their work. That wasn’t (and still isn’t, in my opinion) their motivation, but it happened. For them, it was the work. The independence.
Part of this is my own lack of focus. I wrote theological stuff for a while, but my passion burnt out on that. I wanted to produce poetry, but then I got happy and stopped producing. I could probably return to that now, or I could focus on fiction… but fiction seems unlikely. At any rate, I had a goal, and I’m not reaching it. I’m not doing what I set out to do.
The second issue is that I’m not sure there’s a market for it. Not that the goal was necessarily to hit a market and become an independent writer that makes lots of money… not really. But part of me wondered if it was possible; that’s what I wanted to find out. Would there be as much of a following for a blog writer, especially a poet, as there is for art and webcomics? I guarantee I could do it if I just blogged. Picked a topic and ran with it; technology, or religion, or something. People will read it if it’s good, and I could do better work than I do. But would it work? Would people come here for poetry if a new one was posted three times a week or every day?
Is the “second issue” just a way for me to make an excuse and avoid trying for fear of failure? …yeah, probably.
Does anyone even care about poetry anymore? I don’t know man… I don’t know… Should it matter? No, not really.
When I think about what my goal was, and what I’m doing instead… I feel the same as I did my sophomore year, sitting in symphony rehearsal. “What am I doing? I could be writing right now.”
But the only thing I can come up with right now is, “Once this semester is over… once the summer comes, I can start writing again.” I’m going to sign up as a reviewer with LibraryThing. I’m going to start reading and writing more. I’d like to take guitar lessons once a week and exercise more regularly. Just as soon as this semester’s over… just as soon as college ministry and class are done (freeing up about 20 hours a week, total).
Still a total cop out.