For whatever reason, I have always associated apathy with a certain level of bitterness and cynicism. Obviously, the definition is erroneous, because apathy would imply there are no strong feelings such as the aforementioned bitterness or cynicism, but in my day-to-day life, such emotions have always been there. Apathy was reached via frustration and, eventually, giving up; I felt that I had become apathetic once I had decided to no longer care about a subject (usually because it was annoying me so much).
I have now learned the true way. Apathy is not reached via a decision, for if a decision must be made, one is clearly not apathetic. Rather, it is a state of being. And regarding my finals, I reached this nirvana.
I just didn’t care. I had other things I cared more about, so my finals had no hold on my whatsoever. I wasn’t giving up on the classes and throwing in the towel. Towels are worth keeping, so instead I slung it over my shoulder and sauntered into the sunset. There are better, more interesting things over the horizon, and I have no reason to stay here.
April accurately pointed out how terrible apathy is, for it means that one doesn’t even care enough to dislike or hate something. But with limited application, I think it can be a beneficial state indeed. Like Luke Skywalker who learned that the true power of the force is to balance between Light and Dark, I think we need to learn to let go of the less important things. To be happily apathetic in some circumstances.
My finals are over, and for a couple of days, my schedule is busier than ever with social calls and spending time with people. This is always the case at the beginning of a new chapter, as we attempt to get re-acquainted and learn about the dark holes each other have recently crawled from. But a glorious time is upon us, and we are set free by limited apathy.
I’m already looking forward to next November.