Boy Friends: Friends that are Boys

It may be a stereotype, but it seems that most single girls call a fellow girl friend at the end of a bad day to rant. Conversely, they might invite boy friends to social events, see them in class, and sometimes rate them on a scale of one to ten, one being “I know his last name” and ten being “I’ve dreamed of dating him since sixth grade.”

Then there are girls who are “best friends” with boys and think most girls are flighty airheads.

I was somewhere in between. I had boundaries with my guy friends all throughout middle school and high school, but I also knew lots of airheads, or thought I did. My excuse was that I grew up with two older brothers and could “relate” better to males. Actually, I felt more comfortable with boys because they didn’t pry into my thoughts and feelings. We didn’t have a relationship at all and I avoided real relationships with girls because I felt vulnerable to their uncanny insight and sensitivity.

While I tended to keep my friendships on the surface with both sexes, a lot of girls aren’t afraid to jump right in with either. Neither situation is ideal. Stereotypes are born from a thread of truth.

There’s a quote from the movie When Harry Met Sally that I’ve always appreciated: “…men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”

In most cases, I would interpret this as, “Men and women can’t be best friends because coed relationships require a balance between physical and emotional intimacy.” It’s different with girl friends. When I went to college, I had to relearn the concept of friendship with my fellow sisters in Christ because I had a “friendship void.” Humans need relationships. We were created for them. But just like I had to learn to appreciate other women, it is also necessary to appreciate the God-made boundaries between single men and women. In another entry, I will describe the boundaries I felt when Matthew and I were friends.

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