Their most diabolical plan yet

A few weeks ago, this panel appeared on the Facebook home profile page, taking their “mutual friends” information to a new level by suggesting people you might know yet aren’t friends with yet on Facebook.

In a sense, this is kind of nice. It lets me find people I might want to be friends with, add them or simply remove them from the list, and it’s constantly got new people displayed… but then I began actually trying to use the panel.

Every person I removed from the list was immediately replaced by someone else I “might know,” as if attempting to remove the degrees of separation between me and everyone else in the world. I kept clicking, removing all the people I didn’t know, examining profiles of people I might know, just have forgotten temporarily, and adding a few I was pleasantly surprised to find. And I kept clicking. And kept clicking.

It never ends. Every profile removed from this panel is immediately replaced by another. There seems to be no point at which Facebook says, “Yeah, there’s no real way you know any of these people, but I need this panel full. For your consideration, I present Amali Poutankalishe from Bangladesh.”

It is difficult to tear myself away. I want it to be done, over, finished. I want to lay that panel to rest, to hide all the smiling faces, and assure myself that there’s not anyone on Facebook I’m not friends but would like to be. I want to sort through them all.

Do you think it’s possible to hire someone to act out your OCD tendencies on your behalf?

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