Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s not

A few weeks ago, I was thinking about an old failed relationship and all my self-recriminations. I have a tendency to blame myself when things go sour, and try to figure out what I can do to improve myself so the mistakes of my past are not repeated.

For the first time in regards to this relationship and my consideration of it, however, it occurred to me that maybe it wasn’t my fault. Maybe the girl wasn’t perfect after all, and maybe it wasn’t all my fault. Maybe it just is what it is.

It takes two to tango, as the cliché goes, and it’s never all one person’s fault. Examine your history and learn from it, but you’ve got to learn to let go and move on too. Don’t dwell on your failures.

Take them in, embrace them, examine and learn from them. Learn to say, “This is failure, this is pain, this is hurt, and now I know it. Now I can let it go, and move on.” If you never release your failure to let it rest in the past, you’ll continue to fail and be a failure.

Don’t take it all on yourself. Sometimes, things just happen, and for what comfort it gives you, know that our Lord is sovereign. He can turn anything to the good, and he wants the best for you. When things suck, just work on returning your focus to Jesus, and soldier on. Before you know it, things will be better again, and you’ll look back on the months and/or years of pain and realize how relatively short that period was.

Maybe it was you, and maybe it was me. Chances are, it was both, and we’re both sorry. Let’s leave it at that and move on with our lives.

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