I wouldn’t call what I’ve been in a “slump.” I’ve had ideas, and they’d be good things to write down; old projects have new life and new projects come to mind on a regular basis. What I don’t have is time, energy, or desire. I’m busy a lot of the time, and when I’m not busy, I’m tired. Even when I could potentially work after resting, I just don’t feel like pushing myself so hard that I burn out.
This is why I wanted to drop out. I just don’t have the energy to write much during the semester. I don’t understand why those two nights of classes wipe me out like they do, but between my job (which requires a great deal of extroversion when I’m an introvert, and subsequently drains me emotionally and mentally) and three 12-15 hour days in each five day work week (two of class, one of D&D which, being social activity, still requires extroversion as well as mental work since I run the game), I’m just gone by the weekend. So I don’t write, and I don’t bother to record videos, and I haven’t done a podcast in I-don’t-know-how-long.
I did have a cool realization last week, though. For the last year I’ve had an ongoing worry that I’m nothing but a how-to writer. The most popular stuff on this site is all related to how to get something to work on Linux or how to make a Mac application work right. Most of the articles and particularly the stories I put time into draw little traffic. That is, until a few weeks ago when I invested half a day (after four weeks of cogitating about it) into writing that piece about Christianity and poverty. It’s moved up to #7 on the site in a short period of time, which is pretty cool. Put some work into writing something I find interesting and other people might be interested in it too.
It’s ridiculous, I know–this should be common sense–but I’ve had nagging doubts for a while if it was all worth it. Or, to put it another way, “Is the premise of this site even feasible?” When my number one article in the last two years is how to install a game on Linux, banged out in about ten minutes, compared to other stuff I spent hours on… well, it makes me wonder. It doesn’t help that I haven’t liked most of what I’ve written in the last month or so, including this blog entry.
But they say that the only way to get back into writing after a dry spell is to start doing it. Ignore the crap and get the words out. If I keep at it, hopefully pure, quality work will start to flow again. Unless, of course, the dam of exhaustion is insurmountable. Then I guess I’m just screwed for the rest of this semester.