Herbert the Trillionaire – Chapter 4.1

The Committee waited anxiously, crowded into a small room with too few chairs and too many magazines at a psychiatrist’s office. From the yellow pages they had selected a man named Zed on the grounds that his name sounded suitably evil, and the dark hardwoods and lack of beverages at this office convinced them that they were correct. In each knick-knack and wall hanging they saw signs of rage and frustration at an ignorant world that didn’t have time for misunderstood genius. They sighed sympathetically.

After hours and with what seemed like great reluctance, the door to Zed the Psychiatrist’s office opened. Herbert smiled and waved back at the bespectacled man and wished him a good afternoon. The Committee looked at Herbert with curiosity as they shuffled past him and he claimed one of the waiting room chairs. Hands on his knees, Herbert hummed idly to himself and looked around the room with wonder as the Committee entered the psychiatrist’s office and closed the door behind them.

The double chinned man’s voice rolled into the office.

“Well, doctor? Will he have to be… committed?”

Zed stroked his goatee, a white triangle that complimented his round glasses and added to his presumed evilness. The Committee felt they had chosen well.

“To a pzychiatric vard?” Zed asked, his accent unmistakably German based on movies The Committee had seen.

“No no no,” Zed went on. “Certainly, Mister Hervert haz lost hiz memory, but he is no more inzane ‘zan you or I!” Zed laughed in what The Committee would later characterize as a cackle. “He iz happy, und he iz  kind und generous, but he iz not a danger to himself or others.”

“But what of his business, Mr… Zed? Surely he is unfit to perform his duties?”

“Vell…” drawled Zed the Psychiatrist with a presumably evil gleam in his eyes, “zat is, I suppose, for you to decide, hmm? You will have to decide what the purpose of your business is, yes? Mister Hervert seems to have some int-eresting ideas about zat…”

Zed the Psychiatrist just smiled at The Committee who, sensing their meeting was concluded, shuffled back to the door, opened it quietly, shuffled out, and closed it behind themselves as they thought about what to do next.

Herbert noticed that they were not always shuffling in the same direction, and he smiled.

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