I started college in 2003 working on a bachelor’s in religious studies. In 2006, I met April and fell in love, and I knew that I was going to need a job and some money before we could get married, so I started pursuing a full-time job and I was hired at Missouri State University in January 2007. Subsequently, I dropped down to part-time as a college student.
And then, due to bad advice from my advisor, I didn’t get the “right kind” of credit hours and it ended up taking an extra two years to finish my BA.
I almost dropped out. Technically, I did drop out for nearly a year, but I went back, and throughout much of my undergrad career, I was desperate to finish. So when I would see an ad from Phoenix University or others, I’d think, “Maybe I could transfer and finish faster!” Whenever I’d see a billboard for Kaplan or another program, I’d wonder if it’d be cheaper and faster to go to them.
Of course, it wouldn’t be. It’d be way more expensive, only slightly faster, and my degree would have been less respected. But this wasn’t a rational thought, it was an emotional one. I wanted to be done so badly.
And now I am done. Not just with my bachelors, I’m done with a master’s degree. But this emotional response, triggered by seeing these ads, is still strong. I see a billboard and think, “Hmm, maybe I should check that out so I could finish faster.”
And then I remember that I’m done. I’m done, and I smile. It’s hard to let go of that response because it’s so ingrained, but remembering that I have gotten all the formal education I need to is pretty great.
I live and die by my calendar, and yesterday I looked at this weekend and discovered that I have just a few hours free on Saturday during which I can rest and relax. The semester has started out pretty well, but I’m busier than ever.
What is interesting is that all of these things I’m doing are very supportive of one another. That is to say, what I’m learning in my classes is helping me at work and at church; the work I’m doing at my job is giving me practice for church and school; my vision for my ministry will fuel my school and work. I feel like I’m on a rising tide, and it’s lifting all the ships.
Since I haven’t blogged much this year, it seemed appropriate to me to write a bit of a catch-up post. I’ve also been planning on writing Christmas Letters to send to people, but here we are on the last day of work before Winter Break, and just five days from Christmas, and it seems increasingly unlikely that I will do so.
Since I’m graduating this year, I’ve been thinking about what I’ll do with all my glorious free time when I don’t have classes anymore. People also regularly ask, “What are you going to do after you graduate?” What they mean is, “Are you going to get a new job using your degree?” to which the answer is no. I like what I do, and something using my degree would be less enjoyable and would pay less. But I have thought of a couple of things I can use my degree for.
I feel like the reality of it being a new year is just settling in for me. This is not just a year, though, this is the year. This one is going to count for something.
For starters, I’m going to get my bachelor’s degree.
The antagonism of the last few weeks is waning, and yesterday was the best I’ve had in a while. I think part of the problem was a sense of being out of control through the start of the semester, with people moving away, people leaving work, new classes (and wrong classes and hard classes); just generally being too busy to live like I had been the previous months. My schedule was shifting, and it threw me.
I’m getting a handle on things, and I think it’s going to be alright. Yesterday was good. I hope today is too.